Anymore
by pealee
Summary: Can one song make Samantha question her relationship with Jack? JS
1. Anymore

A/N- Hello everyone. It's been a long time since I posted a story. I hope you enjoy and please review! Thanks to Kylie and Steffi for being awesome! And the biggest thank you ever to Diane for beta reading for me

Also this is set sometime during or after season 4. Samantha knows about Jack and Anne.

**ANYMORE**

Samantha looked out over New York City from her 6th floor apartment and watched her breathing fog up the window. She could hear the faint music from her radio through the bedroom door. The radio announcer came on and announced ''you're listening to 94.3, New York's country station'' as a new song began to play. Samantha slightly chuckled and thought to herself, when did I start listening to country?

_I can't hide the way I feel about you anymore_

_I can't hold the hurt inside, keep the pain out of my eyes anymore._

_My tears no longer waiting.. my resistance ain't that strong_

_My mind keeps recreating a life with you alone_

_And I'm tired of pretending that I don't love you anymore_

The first verse of the song made every hair on Samantha's body stand up and she felt tears that she didn't want to shed start falling from her eyes. She looked up at the sky, of what little she could see, and wondered if Jack was happy. She knew she certainly wasn't. And it was killing her slowly. She wasn't sure anymore how longer she could pretend. And the song continued.

_Let me make one last appeal to show you how I feel about you…hmmm_

_Cause there's no one else I swear, holds a candle, anywhere, next to you_

_My heart can't take the beating of not having you to hold_

_A small voice keeps repeating deep inside my soul.._

_It says I can't keep pretending that I don't love you anymore._

As the second verse was finishing, Samantha had a stream of tears rolling down her slightly pink cheeks. _I don't need this pain. I don't need to feel this alone anymore,_ Samantha thought to herself and got up and opened a secret file on her laptop, as the song continued.

_I've got to take the chance or let it pass by_

_If I expect to get on with my life_

_With my life…_

As the paper was printing, the last of the song was finishing and Samantha couldn't believe she actually printed the one piece of paper that would change her life forever. The document had been on her laptop since the beginning of the affair. She wrote it to protect Jack; she never thought she'd have to use it to protect herself, her heart.

_And I can't hide the way I feel about you anymore_

_And I can't hold the hurt inside, keep the pain out of my eyes anymore_

_My tears no longer waiting_

_Oh, my resistance ain't that strong_

_Oh, my mind keeps recreating a love with you alone_

_And I'm tired of pretending I don't love you anymore..anymore..anymore_

When the song finally finished, Samantha folded up the official document and put it in an envelope and wrote "To: Supervisory Special Agent Jack Malone" on the front and placed it next to her gun and badge. She took one Ambein because she knew there would be no sleep if she didn't.

Samantha Spade's alarm clock rang promptly at 6 a.m., waking her up to a day that scared her like no other. Today would be the day and as she rolled out of bed thinking just that, she ran quickly to the bathroom and threw up the remaining ordered-in pizza from the night before.

Usually on the elevator ride to the 12th floor of the FBI building, Samantha was always preoccupied with a file or on her phone. But this morning she held one paper-thin envelope in her hand and her eyes fixed to the numbers above the door as it went slowly from the ground floor to the 12th floor. When the ding of the elevator doors opened, Samantha took in a deep breath and prayed—something rare for her. And she had a tiny laugh to herself that one little song was making her do things she never dreamed she would do. Finally she reached Jack Malone's office. Of course he was already there.

"Hey, Jack you got a minute?" Samantha asked, hands shaking and voice cracking.

Jack immediately noticed something was wrong and quickly answered "Yes of course, what's wrong Sam. You look very pale today."

Samantha shivered at him calling her Sam.

"I think it's time for me to move on." And she handed him the sealed envelope.

Jack looked dumbfounded at her as he had no idea what she was talking about. But he took the envelope and opened it, his worst nightmare coming true.

"What the hell is this, Sam?" Jack said taking off his glasses and moving around the desk to face Samantha.

"What does it look like, Jack?"

"Damnit Samantha, don't play games here! Why are you giving me your resignation?"

"Because I can't do this anymore."

"What? Sam, please talk to me. What's going on? Whatever it is I'll fix it. I don't want to lose you."

Samantha didn't reply. She took a step back, feeling so close to him that she could smell his aftershave and she wasn't his anymore to be that close to him. She felt tears and she tried her best to avoid his eyes.

"Please…. Sam, say something. Tell me. Please. SAM!" Jack finally yelled at her to get her to even acknowledge his presence.

She met his glaze with tear-filled eyes and simply said, "I can't pretend that I don't love you anymore." And she walked out of his office.


	2. Jack Finds That Breathing Is Hard To Do

Hey guys! Here's chapter 2. I hope you all enjoy and as always please review. To my beta, Diane-THANK YOU! to Steffi, Kylie, Shanna, Helenebig hugs

Also I always forget this I don't own Samantha, Jack or Anne. Bummer, yes I know.

Also there is NO baby for Jack and Anne. We will pretend that isn't happening.

**JACK FINDS THAT BREATHING IS HARD TO DO**

Jack was stunned, shocked, and paralyzed. He couldn't go after her even if he wanted too. He thought he knew what scared was but when Samantha Spade walked in his office and walked out of his life, he felt as if the world literally fell on top of him. He couldn't breath. His eyes were watering, his hands shaking. His mind went blank. He couldn't digest what had just happened.

'_Did she just tell me she loved me? Did she just hand me her resignation? No this is a nightmare, this is not happening.'_

But when Jack looked down at the official FBI document stating that Special Agent Samantha Spade had put in her request for resignation, Jack nearly fell to the floor. He held on tight to his desk and somehow made it back around to his chair.

'_This is not happening. I should go after her. Why am I sitting here like a fool? She loves me. I love her. Why? Get up Jack and go after her; there is nothing stopping you!' _Jack thought to himself.

As he finally got up the strength to get up from his chair and make his way to his office door, the reason why entered.

"Hey Jack, are you ok? You look like you are about to pass out," Anne asked, worriedly.

'_Damn! I was so close. I was so close to Samantha. I could have her, touch her, kiss her but now 'she's' here. I don't want 'her' here. I want Samantha,' _Jack was thinking to himself until Anne practically yelled at him to get his attention.

"Should I take you to the doctor? You look sick," Anne said, putting her hand on his forehead as if to check his temperature like he's small child.

"No. God, Anne I'm not a child," Jack snapped at Anne, pushing her hand away.

"What's wrong, Jack"

"Nothing, I'm going home. It's been a long day," Jack answered, grabbing his coat. _'I'm sure she's gone by now, but maybe I can catch her at her apartment.'_

"Well I can come with you. Order us a pizza or Chinese."

"No, Anne. I'm going home…alone," Jack said and hurriedly left his office. Not even glancing back.

Anne wiped tears from her eyes as she left his office and walked down the corridor to her own office.

Jack broke every conceivable traffic law getting to Samantha's apartment in record time. On his way there he tried her cell and her home phone with no luck.

"Samantha! Please open the door, please," Jack said, banging on her door.

After a moment of silence through the door, Jack tried again. "Sam, come on please. I don't want you to go anywhere. Please open the door so we can talk."

"Hum, excuse me, sir?" said a young woman of about 25, who was carrying a bag of groceries.

"What?" Jack answered not turning around and still banging on Samantha's door.

"Hum, sir, Samantha packed her things up and left."

"What the hell are you talking about? She was at work just 30 minutes ago," Jack said, now turning around.

"She packed her things up the day before. She told me today was her last day at work. I asked where she was going so you know I could visit her, but she never answered me."

Jack stood there staring at the young women, shocked.

"Hum, sir, are you ok?"

And Jack frantically found his keys in his pockets and went for a key he hadn't used in years, but he had never found the courage to take it off the key ring. Jack inserted the key into Samantha's apartment door and stormed in. He walked through her entire apartment and it was empty. No sign that Samantha Spade had ever lived there. _'No, God no, this can't be happening.' _Jack bent over to catch his breath and the young women said from the doorframe "Sir, are you ok?"

"When? How long has she cleared out her apartment?"

"She had the moving van come the day before yesterday."

Jack slammed his fist on the island in the kitchen.

The Following Day

"Hey, guys, I got something to tell you," A tired, disheveled Jack told his team as he approached them sitting at the round conference table.

"What's up, Jack?" Vivian asked with a concerned look on her face.

"I don't know how to tell you this because it really doesn't make sense to me. Samantha turned in her resignation last night and her apartment is cleared out. I can't find her. Her cell is turned off. No activity on her credit cards. She's gone." And Jack bit back tears and slumped into a vacant chair at the table. No one spoke for a while. Everyone was too stunned to say anything right away. They needed time to digest Jack's news. Finally, Vivian spoke up.

"Jack, why did she leave? This makes no sense; not a week ago we were all at McHumphery's having a good time. She seemed fine."

"I can't believe this. She's gone. Where is she gonna go? Where is she gonna live. What is she going to do for a job?" Danny asked in rapid fire.

"I don't know!" Jack snapped at Danny. And he left the table with the team in shock and with unanswered questions.


End file.
